Because infidelity profoundly damages the trust at the center of a couple's connection, we work to rebuild the relationship that is based on a completely new understanding of yourselves. All the while, I will help you establish a safe, non-judgmental place to process the swirling emotions of anger, sadness, loss, desperation, guilt, shame and blame.
With hard work and humility, you will find a path to a new understanding of the affair, to grieving, and to healing together. My #2 sub-specialty is helping NEURODIVERSE COUPLES learn how to stop blaming each other and, instead, see your differences through a new lens, and discover concrete ways to consistently connect with each other which seemed impossible before therapy.
With hard work and humility, you will find a path to a new understanding of the affair, to grieving, and to healing together. My #2 sub-specialty is helping NEURODIVERSE COUPLES learn how to stop blaming each other and, instead, see your differences through a new lens, and discover concrete ways to consistently connect with each other which seemed impossible before therapy.
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My greatest treasure in life is my relationship with my amazing wife. She has challenged me to grow, stood by me through thick and thin, and rarely misses a chance to make me laugh. We have been blessed to raise children together and to be part of a supportive local church family. When I'm not pursuing my main passion of working with couples, I'm probably with friends roaming the redwoods on my mountain bike.
With decades of research and centuries of wisdom about building a healthy relationship, there's no reason anyone wanting a better relationship can't have one. Nonetheless, if you've been fighting all the time, or are drowning in feelings of contempt or, even worse, apathy, you may have concluded that your relationship is beyond repair.
Intimate relationships can be a fertile ground for dysfunctional anger. Love relationships often create unrealistic expectations for how our partner or spouse should make us feel, on one hand, and what kinds of behaviors will be tolerated or forgiven, on the other. Dysfunctional patterns of anger from earlier relationships or one's family of origin may get automatically repeated.
Integrated therapy for the addict, the betrayed partner and couple can be helpful so that everyone is working in lockstep during the recovery process. If you are here you are most likely at one of the most intense and painful crossroads in your life. To make it through this difficult journey you will need expert guides and a plan that addresses all 3 aspects of this path: your recovery, the couples recovery and the betrayed partner's recovery.
When I ask clients what they want from sex they usually talk about pleasure and closeness but, unfortunately, they feel stuck and do very little to move their sex lives forward. When I ask them if they talk about their sex lives, their hopes and dreams, their insecurities, and what feels good or bad, they quietly admit that they almost completely avoid the subject.
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